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Above is a picture of my new home in Koh Phangan. Yep that's it, the white shed looking thing just to the right of the upside down boat. It's a wonderful spot but one thing it doesn't have is hot water. Not even warm water.
I proffer this simple guide to the post zombie apocalypse generation, who will spend their meagre energy allowance downloading vintage clips of Britney Spears rather than waste it heating water.
How to take a cold shower
Depending on the nuances of your plumbing your shower will either get warmer or colder the longer you leave it running. Determine your basic strategy.
Shower in the late afternoon. The water has had the longest to warm up and more importantly it's the warmest time of the day, so you'll warm up when you get out.
Start by splashing water gingerly at your pits and groin. Then place your arms and legs in the water and rub vigorously. Continuing to briskly rub, dunk your head and lastly turn around and squeal like a little girl when it runs down your back.
Bonus points if you stay in the shower until it feels "good".
Go outside and revel in the sunset. All better?
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Anything this unpleasant must be good for you so I did some research. Turns out cold water is a freaking miracle cure! And though I can find no evidence to support it online, I find that I smell especially delicious after a cold shower.
PS. No comments about how you used to shower uphill both ways in the morning are required. I'm quite comfortable with my sissy boy status.